5 Signs You’re Listening to a Tacticool Bullshitter

Ah, the joys of the internet… shuffling through dozens of self-promoting wannabe gurus, listicle-pushing bullshitters, affiliate link scammers, braindead parroting old farts, and smartass know-it-all teenagers. Somewhere under the deep pile of misinformation, distractions, and pretentious horseshit, you might actually find some useful advice from people who know what they hell they’re talking about. Here’s a few clues you might be listening to a bullshitter.

1. They’re still using alkaline batteries.

As anyone with even slight experience with electronics would know, alkaline batteries are notorious for leaking when you need them most, and damaging the device they were stored in along the way. The only batteries a sane person would use are rechargeable NiMH cells, rechargeable lithium ion cells, or non-rechargeable but long-lasting lithium cells.

2. They post a gun video for a hurricane just as it’s about to hit.

Clickbait much? What is it about THIS hurricane that requires different guns compared to all the other hurricanes? Or more importantly – why are you talking about guns when your ass should be evacuating away from the hurricane danger zone to a place not swarming with zombies?

3. They’re running a gear junkie website or youtube channel while pretending to teach survival and preparedness.

Did a manufacturer release some new gun, knife, flashlight, or other gadget that makes the one you bought last month inadequate? Be sure to click the bullshitter’s affiliate link to support their channel, and rationalize how THIS gadget will finally make you prepared for when SHTF, while the lard-ass wannabe rambo promotional talking puppet is laughing all the way to the bank. Don’t worry, the company execs sending him free toys for “review” are laughing even harder.

4. They’re using clickbait titles like “Top 10 Best” or “MUST HAVE” or “YOU NEED NOW” and other bullshit.

Just who the hell made this guy an expert on judging gear he never used, and listing a whole 10 mediocre items just to get more affiliate links?

5. Their idea of survival is running off to the hills or woods.

Unless you already live in the woods on a daily basis, hunting, fishing, trapping, and foraging, you’re not going to suddenly become a woods dweller. Your fat ass will get exhausted on the first hill up the woods, snap an ankle, and have to be rescued back to civilization 3 days later. And NO, your back yard where you shoot your survival youtube videos is not the woods.

Five Useful Keychain Survival Items

keychain

 

The keychain is a great place to keep useful items because it’s practically always with you when you leave the house, unlike that fancy survival bag of goodies you have packed away for a hypothetical situation. Here’s my list of useful items I recommend keeping on your key chain – these would be useful not only in an emergency situation but also come in handy in daily life.

1. Flashlight – a small LED light is useful when you need to see in the dark. Whether you find yourself out at night later than expected, or deal with a power outage, or simply need a bit of light better see the details of something – a keychain light comes in handy on many occasions. Here’s my list of top favorite keychain flashlights.

2. Knife or Multitool – a Swiss Army knife comes in handy when opening packages, trimming nails, cutting some string, picking out a splinter, opening beer bottles, and many other tasks.

3. USB Flash Drive – it’s an easy way to keep backup copies of your important data and documents.

4. Pen – useful when you need to leave a note for someone or deposit a check at an ATM.

5. Whistle – not something you’re likely to use on a regular basis, but when you need a whistle for emergency signaling, you REALLY need one. A good way to make sure you have it available is to carry one on the keychain. It takes up very little room and weighs next to nothing, but can be a life saver.